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Is the orgasm gap killing your sex life?

Keep an orgasm in mind during your next intimate moment.

Keep an orgasm in mind during your next intimate moment.

How important is having an orgasm in your sex life? Should both partners be able to, before the act is over? What about if only your guy does? The conversation around orgasms in both casual and serious relationships is changing, for women at least.

According to Paula England, a professor of sociology at Stanford University, the orgasm gap, or the lack of women having orgasms during sexual relations, is a major issue. 

"It's producing a rampant culture of sexual asymmetry," said England.

There are both opinions and facts causing this issue:

  • During a casual hookup, men are twice as likely to climax, but in relationships, women are 80 percent as likely to climax also.
  • Men are twice as likely to climax during sex or other intimate acts than women.
  • Other research has shown that one-third of women have never had an orgasm during sex.

If you're looking for an orgasm during your next intimate moment (and you should be) keep these four tips in mind:

  • Don't give up: Reaching an orgasm naturally takes longer for women than men, as men are easily stimulated. If it's not happening right away, don't get discouraged.
  • Focus on you: Don't focus on what he's doing or what he's thinking. Focus on what he's doing and how it feels for you.
  • Give him some pointers: If he's not doing it for you, let him know. Guys that are attentive want you to orgasm, so lend a hint or even a helping hand to get there.
  • Relax: Take a deep breath and relax. An orgasm should feel good and be anything but stressful. 

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